Christmas Eve

So here i am, Christmas Eve. It doesn't feel exactly like Christmas. I feel no drive to be eloquent in my writing. I Simply want to say that i am glad to be alive. This life, with all of it's challenges and turmoil sometimes surprises me with moments of bliss. Tonight, especially, was nothing short of a disaster. And on Christmas Eve! Confusion and tears worked their way into this evening. I had hardly expected to be anything but happy after this day. But, as i said, life is nothing short of surprising.
Trouble with brother, angry and hurt. I made dinner in a fury and cleaned the kitchen in the same state. I was completely distraught. We opened our Christmas pajamas. Still uprooted. And then we read of Jesus' birth. And peace crept in. How can one deny that sure peace that the spirit of Christ brings? Surely i wasn't expecting it. And a text from a loved one brought these words to rememberance:
"Oh holy night, the stars are brightly shining. It is the night of the dear Savior's birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining till he appeared and the soul felt it's worth. A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your Knees! Oh, hear the angel voices! Oh night divine, oh night when Christ was born."
A thrill of hope. What hope does this song speak of? It is the hope that Jesus gave to souls when he came to this earth. That hope...that no one else could bring. None other had the power to save us. none other was equal to the task. Only Jesus could do it. This world is ever weary, we are all continually in a sinful state. But Jesus came to save us from ourselves. And i cannot think of a person that i love more than him. My savior, my King, Jesus Christ. My brother.
The Last is my favorite title, brother. How kind. how wonderful! I can never fully say what i feel for my Savior. I thank him, and i praise him. I am eternally grateful for the knowledge that he lives! That he came to this earth to atone for my sins, and that he died that we might live again. My words are nothing compared to what i feel.
Peace surprised me this Christmas eve. I thought it impossible after the events of this night, but here it is, full and warm. And that is what Christmas is about! Christmas-to remember Christ, to feel of his love, and to feel that sure peace which only he can bring.

This is my favorite thing. My family.

"When we judge people, we have no time to love them."
                                            -Mother Teresa

My Favorite Things

Everyone always criticizes the song "My Favorite Things" from "The Sound Of Music" whenever it is played as a Christmas song. But i love that song! and i say WHY NOT? so! in honor of this, one of my favorite Christmastime melodies, i shall post pictures of my favorite things every day until Christmas. I suppose i should have started on the twelfth. oh well. But if you haven't understood these random pictures so far, that is what they are, just my favorite things.

i would just like to play dress up.....

Rain

Life:
Swelling, growing, leaping forth.
Just the smell of rain.
That sweetness fills the air
How can a scent motivate so many memories to displace their cover?
All are dreams.
Nostalgia:
pure, vivid, strong, pleasant. Ever pleasant.
Inhale joy.
Release care.
It is just a scent...and all you need to feel life.
Let it flow through you....seep into your core.
It cleanses,

A the key to beauty. 

creature 2

     Maybe it was wrong to say that a person would want to see inside that creature. It is likely that the place is too much a flurry for most to live in. True, it can be beautiful, some would even dare to call it poetic. But at times it becomes dark, indistinct. a place where nothing has meaning, and everything is strung together. All is Chaos. There are emotions that cannot be pulled from another. Everything is woven, intertwined,confusion. 
     What is the cause? Circumstances all pend on such a delicate foundation, to decipher is impossible.
     Go in if you dare. Stay away is the caution. The choice is individual.

Empty.
Bored.
Humming.
Inspiration?
None.
Creativity?
Zero.

She'd tried to go without. she'd tried to let it be! the task was futile. how many times had she tried to push it away? She had plead with herself to let it go, but time had made her want. Time had tied her to....And all she could do was hope it would leave.
A year. Too strong.
A week without...Intolerable.
Confusion worked it's way into every sinew. Tears were her constant companion. How could she stand it? So many times logic had tried to step in. She shoved it away-always pushed against it. This time she couldn't bear it. The logic of the matter....still pushing.
It was a few weeks earlier that she had realized.... at the most inconvenient time. She had thought the circumstances impossible. She would not be able to tell. But fate stepped in. And sooner than she could have imagined her opportunity loomed before her. And again logic screaming in her face. Logic told her not to do it, told her she was wrong-it would all hurt too much, things could only turn against her. Logic broke her heart....left her in that miserable state.
So she sat there. Lonely. Abandoned. It was too long.
She tried to submit to the fact that it just could not be. But logic broke through again. What were those words? that one night in the car? "why not let it be?" .....so why not? she didn't know. She couldn't.... she had to change it. had to fix...
If she told, what more would it be than a truth revealed? That truth had hurt so much to keep locked inside. Time called to her, told her it was approaching. And she had to do it, had to release it. She had to give it an honest try.
Time nor logic will hold her no more. The matter still presses against her.
Truth must be driven out. 

Bing Crosby: I've Got A Pocketful Of Dreams

ColdPlay - Your Love Means Everything lyrics

How She Is

A girl how she is, that is how he would have her. Her impurities, her faults, her insecurities, all. He would suffer them! He would take them and would love them along with that broken girl for the simple reason that they are a part of her. The fact that he would go willingly to the task is enough to make one question his state of mind. Yet what sweeter thing is there than to know one is loved for one's self, and that the self alone serves as motive enough for anothers love?

Creature

     Was there ever a Creature more peculiar? Certainly. But that is far beyond the point (if there is a point at all).The creature (as we call it) seems outrageous, perhaps even pretentious; curious; and alluring in it's very own and special way. But those who come to know the creature find that it is not what it seems.
     By its own description the creature would call itself spontaneous. Perhaps this spontaneity is why many find the Creature to be so strange. Some have said that it seems to possess no depth, no strength of mind or of heart: a stumbling block of many. And so you must learn why.
     Though the creature is odd, it does feel, and it feels intensely. It feels passion that moves it to create....to create bonds of love with those of its kind; to create anything in which it can find beauty. It feels with great fervor a need to be unrestrained. Should this creature have wings nothing could harness it from flight. Should the creature have a voice for song, not one would be able to restrain its sweet tones. Its mind is one of riddles and difficulty, but if one person could unlock what lies inside, he would see that beauty and be drawn to stay.

Elbow - Running To Stand Still