Looking Foreward in Faith

I have recently learned a thing or three. More likely I have learned five or six. All these things...have hurt. And have been hard. Harder than I could imagine. Yet my heart is full of gratitude for them. I have loved. I have lost. I have done everything I could within my power to hold on, to be faithful. But the Lord has lessons for me to learn yet...before I take that leap into marriage. Who I will marry I don't know. I thought I knew. I was so sure of it I would have bet my life. I let fear and doubt in and I lost him...he did the same. I guess it is more fair to say we lost eachother. And it would be easy to look back and ask God "why?...after all the confirmations and happy times and the beauty of our relationship...why?"... but I have learned that the question of "why" is pointless. Rather I have to look at this and say "Oh Lord, what am I to learn?" And when I ask THAT question. . . light comes through. And I can see more clearly, more happily my God's purpose in this trial. I wouldn't blame this on God. No. I can blame it of no one truly. But I know my God better than I ever have and I know he has a way of taking the worst of trials and turning them into the greatest of blessings. It hurts. Yes. But God's way is the greatest. And I trust in him to guide us all through these trials that we have. I trust in God with all that I am. I trust because he has led me thus far. And I know he is leading me still.