Beauty

I do not know how to write of how wonderful this woman is to me. There is nothing poetic or enticing in my writing, all I can do is express my gratitude for such a woman in my life.
When I was young, Mother was raising my two brothers and I alone. She had her parents and her church to lean on for support. I often sit in silence wondering how she got through it all. The heartache must have been tremendous. The obstacles must have seemed to great to leap -but steady endurance and patience lent her friendship. And somehow it all passed.
She is older now - and beauty is creased in her smile. And she is still giving - to her family, her mother, her father, her children. All the woman does is give. That is what makes her so beautiful. It is not her smile - though that is, of course, lovely to behold. Her beauty is not in her grace, yet she possesses plenty of that. My mother's beauty is in her spirit. It is in her soul. Her beauty is that selflessness that keeps her giving.
For what act have I been blessed with such a mother?
-None. I suppose it's dumb luck. A blessing I fail to deserve. But oh how I am grateful.
That woman, my mother, is a beacon of strength.
I love her.

"True love is  the best thing in the world, except for cough drops. Everybody knows that."
            -Miracle Max

 President Joseph F. Smith said: “To my mind, it means entering into the knowledge and love of God, having faith in his purpose and in his plan, to such an extent that we know we are right, and that we are not hunting for something else, we are not disturbed by every wind of doctrine, or by the cunning and craftiness of men who lie in wait to deceive. We know of the doctrine that it is of God, and we do not ask any questions of anybody about it; they are welcome to their opinions, to their ideas and to their vagaries. The man who has reached that degree of faith in God that all doubt and fear have been cast from him, he has entered into ‘God’s rest’” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith[1998], 56).

Tuesday

I find myself driving to a place that brought so many tears and blessings.
As i walk in memories leap back at me. Some so painful, others so sweet.
And there it is! his office. Just as i left it.
I round the corner. Perfect.
My friend sitting in his place.
A smile wrinkles his eyes as he sees me standing there.
My attire feels strange in his presence- jeans.
I await the question "Where is your skirt sister?"
But that was before.
A warm welcome.
He remembers me so well. Trivial details.
He laughs. We laugh.
Why is This friend so wonderful?
Why is he so kind?
I can see in his face, he is warn, spent.
That smile stays so naturally. Never pasted.
He always did smile.
And i wonder how he does it.
The warmest feeling fills my heart. Every part of my soul feels peace.
Too soon he must leave. A meeting to go to.
A goodbye.
Finally- A hug.
Finally.
And i weep as i go-the sweetest tears ever spent.
Tears are ever flowing in this place, whatever the reason.
That friend...Does he know how he has blessed me?
A tender mercy from our God.
Someday i will be that friend to someone.

listening

One time a good friend told me to .....Just do what I want to do. And at first I thought it was a flawed idea. The problem is that a while later I realized I don't really know what i want. And i figured.... therein lies the root of your problems lady!
What a gift it would be to listen more oft than we hear.

His logic was sound. 

Strange world.

Christmas Eve

So here i am, Christmas Eve. It doesn't feel exactly like Christmas. I feel no drive to be eloquent in my writing. I Simply want to say that i am glad to be alive. This life, with all of it's challenges and turmoil sometimes surprises me with moments of bliss. Tonight, especially, was nothing short of a disaster. And on Christmas Eve! Confusion and tears worked their way into this evening. I had hardly expected to be anything but happy after this day. But, as i said, life is nothing short of surprising.
Trouble with brother, angry and hurt. I made dinner in a fury and cleaned the kitchen in the same state. I was completely distraught. We opened our Christmas pajamas. Still uprooted. And then we read of Jesus' birth. And peace crept in. How can one deny that sure peace that the spirit of Christ brings? Surely i wasn't expecting it. And a text from a loved one brought these words to rememberance:
"Oh holy night, the stars are brightly shining. It is the night of the dear Savior's birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining till he appeared and the soul felt it's worth. A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your Knees! Oh, hear the angel voices! Oh night divine, oh night when Christ was born."
A thrill of hope. What hope does this song speak of? It is the hope that Jesus gave to souls when he came to this earth. That hope...that no one else could bring. None other had the power to save us. none other was equal to the task. Only Jesus could do it. This world is ever weary, we are all continually in a sinful state. But Jesus came to save us from ourselves. And i cannot think of a person that i love more than him. My savior, my King, Jesus Christ. My brother.
The Last is my favorite title, brother. How kind. how wonderful! I can never fully say what i feel for my Savior. I thank him, and i praise him. I am eternally grateful for the knowledge that he lives! That he came to this earth to atone for my sins, and that he died that we might live again. My words are nothing compared to what i feel.
Peace surprised me this Christmas eve. I thought it impossible after the events of this night, but here it is, full and warm. And that is what Christmas is about! Christmas-to remember Christ, to feel of his love, and to feel that sure peace which only he can bring.

This is my favorite thing. My family.